Mediating When Only One of You is Motivated

man thinking

Sometimes, one person is ready to try mediation—and the other isn’t. That can feel discouraging. But it doesn’t have to be the end of the road.

In fact, it can be the start of something productive.

Even if the other person isn’t ready yet, there are steps we can take to help explain how mediation works and listen carefully to any concerns. This is part of our role as mediators—to support thoughtful, informed decision-making for everyone involved.

1. We Clarify What Mediation Is, and More Importantly, What it Isn't

People often reject mediation based on misconceptions. A reluctant party may think it requires agreement, confession, or giving up rights. We use plain, respectful language to explain the process -- its voluntary nature, confidentiality, and the power participants have over outcomes.

2. We Reach Out Privately and Listen Carefully

We take the time to ask the reluctant party about their concerns. Have they had bad experiences with conflict resolution? Do they worry mediation is biased or futile?

3. We Highlight Mediation as a Safe Space for Decision-Making

Mediation is a chance to make your own, and better, decisions. It's not about compromising values -- it's about reducing risk, cost, and stress while exploring tailored options not available in court.

4. We Can Customize the Process

Sometimes resistance is to the form of mediation, not the idea. We can take it slow and focus on just one issue to start with, or use private meetings to make mediation feel more comfortable. Mediation doesn't have to be all-or-nothing.

5. We Respect When Mediation Isn't the Right Fit

A good mediator doesn’t push. We offer informed choices and protect the integrity of the process. If needed, we are happy to make a referral to another professional.

If you’re open to mediation but the other person isn’t sure, or if you're the one feeling uncertain, that’s completely okay. We can help explore options and communicate in ways that may make it easier to consider participating. Even if you’re not ready to commit, a first conversation with a mediator can help clarify options and ease concerns. Mediation offers a way forward—on your terms.