Switching Homes

I recently traveled to California with my children. We only had about a week and tried to fit in as many locales as possible. Narrowing my focus to southern California, we flew into Los Angeles and stayed in Santa Monica for the first few days after which we drove down the Pacific Coast Highway, stopping over in Laguna Beach before ending our trip in San Diego. With only a few nights in each locale, I didn't bother unpacking and instead lived out of my suitcases. If you've ever done this, you know that it can become an organizational nightmare. I felt like I could never find the items I wanted so I wasn't sure if they were buried or I had forgotten them. I was constantly pulling everything out and shoving it all back in or letting stuff land on random chairs. My toiletries were all over the place and certainly not where I needed them at the time I needed them. It was very stressful. This made me think of kids who travel back and forth between homes. While it is important that children have parenting time with both parents, living together, sharing meals and daily routines, it can often be hard for children to have to pack and unpack, remember to bring what they need, and settle in comfortably in each home.

Here are some tips to help your child make each transition as seamless as possible.

• What items can be duplicated in each home so the child doesn't have to pack and unpack? This can include toothbrushes and other toiletries, pajamas, undergarments, clothing, school supplies, snow boots and sneakers.

• Does each parent have access to school calendars, extracurricular activity calendars, etc, so each parent knows what to expect during their parenting time? Review the calendar prior to each transition and develop a list of any special items that should be packed. This can include sports gear, uniforms, or other items needed for extracurricular activities or special functions. In addition, determine how any uniforms will be washed so they are ready for the next practice or game. Which parent is responsible for ensuring they are cleaned after use?

• Are there any special homework projects or assignments that are in progress that the other parent needs to know about?

• Make sure your child is aware of the parenting calendar. Post the schedule so the child always has access to it. This way they know what to expect.

• Make a transition routine with your child, especially young children. Is there something special or predictable you can do with your child to help them transition from one household to another? This can include reading a book together, making dinner, stopping for ice cream, etc. Predictability can help children avoid becoming stressed and overwhelmed.